looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
