your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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