like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
