I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
