Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize