I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize