like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
