So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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