I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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