Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize