Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
