this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
