We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
