my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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