I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
