I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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