i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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