Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
