Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
