I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
tell your sister to shave her snatch
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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