I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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