; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize