Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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