I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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