Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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