I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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