Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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