Me. At least after what I've been through.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
