I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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