Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
