Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
