i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
