is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize