Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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