i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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