No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
