i permit you to call me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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