he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
