What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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