dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
