she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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