We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
