Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There r osticjed everywhere
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
