He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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