You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
