just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
