When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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