what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
