I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
