im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
