he wants to bone in the snuggie
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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