Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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