Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Houston, we have a squirter
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
