after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
