I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize