I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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