i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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