Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
