She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
