would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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