Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
