you guys were way drunker than both of me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
