uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
