help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
