My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
